i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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