i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
