Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
