So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
