She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
