He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
