The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
