I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
