dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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