I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
is that a dick in a sweater?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
