Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
