I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
