I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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