I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
