Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
two words...techno handjob
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
