Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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