i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
