I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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