Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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