Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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