I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
