So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
