please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
