Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
