so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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