It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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