the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
