Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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