New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
