The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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