people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
