you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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