I am puke
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
