I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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