Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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