She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
