You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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