just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
