Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
