You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
