we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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