So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
