he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
