Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
