the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
