That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
