doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
