you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
