Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
