god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
