Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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