that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
