so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So much rum. So many feels.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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