I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
