You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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