It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
